The Stay-At-Home-Mom Complex

Going back a few days, I wrote (very briefly) about how unemployment was running me ragged. Lets explore that topic again, shall we?

The myth about unemployment is that you have time to kill. That you have nothing to do. And that you couldn’t possibly be busy without a job.

I am just as guilty as anyone else. Upon entering this summer, I was concerned about being able to fill my time productively while at home. That fear was quickly abated when I began taking chemistry 101 and 102. Class from 8-10, library from 10-2, lab from 2-5. Bam, 8-5 job.

However, I fell for the myth again when I came back to Chapel Hill. Being enrolled in only two classes and volunteering one day a week at UNC hospital, I set out to find other things to do. I started a blog (ta dah!), which led me to apply for an internship for another blog. And today I am yet again about to fall for the myth of bored and unemployed. I’m interviewing at Duke Hospital today to get another volunteer shift each week.

But between all the blogging, studying, class, labs, group meetings, and volunteering I’m also trying to whip my butt into shape. So that means I get up at 7am everyday to run. (I hate to run and love to sleep, so this is particularly earth shattering).

I’m reminded of what one of the retired women from my parent’s neighborhood said to my Mom at some point over the summer. She wanted to know why my mother, who is a home-maker and therefore technically (and for lack of a better word) unemployed, didn’t have time to play golf with the girls?

“What do you do to fill your time?”

My mother is too polite to go off on this, and this woman was genuinely surprised my Mom hadn’t chewed her arm off from boredom over the last 25 years. But this woman personifies a prejudice of which so many are guilty. This perception that if you don’t have a boss and a pay-check means you aren’t busy is what I’m going to call the Stay-at-Home-Mom Complex.

And OMG it is SO frustrating. I promise everyone right now, unemployment is not for the lazy. I envy my friends with jobs because they’re off the hook when they leave the office. But when you suffer from the Stay-at-Home-Mom complex you feel the obligation make highly productive use of every waking hour, 7-12. At the same time you have to disappoint your friends who don’t understand why you don’t have time to hang out.

So have mercy on the Stay-at-Home-Mom Complex suffers in your life. Hand them a coffee, a Red Bull, or a 5-hour Energy, because its been a busy day and we haven't made it through half our To Do list either...